A New Empath's Story

Keep in mind I am very new to the fact I am an Empath. Accepting it and acknowledging it has changed my life. I’ll get back to that though. I knew around 7 or 8 years old that I was different from other kids. I didn’t understand in which ways, I just knew. People loved having me around I could change a room from gloomy to bright and cheerful in an instant.

There were many things I could not explain either I’d know things or feeling that something was just wrong. For example, there were a few family members I was close to who were dying from cancer. I would be in school suffering from bad stomach pains. My parents would run me to the hospital and after many tests nothing would be found. Of course I’d be accused of just trying to get out of school. Really ? Who enjoys going to the emergency room? I do not!

As I got older, the emotions pouring into me got harder to control. School was extremely difficult. The best way of describing it was my soul felt as If it was being pulled in every which way. Being the class clown is how I made it through the roughest years. If I could get the class to laugh, it was a pause in the emotions I was taking in. Almost like a drowning person coming up for their first breath of air.

Of course, I had that same thing many empaths have; sitting on a bus hearing a stranger’s life story or personal issues. This was kind of strange to me; never understanding why they needed to unload everything on to me, especially as a kid. For many years I thought you needed to be a psychiatrist or a bartender to hear everyone’s problems. I knew I had a big heart and I cared a lot about people in general. Talking isn’t my strongest trait so I never understood why.

There were so many negative feelings running through me and I could not sort them all out.  My parents did what, I guess, many have done when they don’t understand. I was sent to see a psychiatrist and was labeled as bi polar and post-traumatic stress disorder. And let the medication, begin either from the doctors themselves or from my own need to self-medicate for almost 30 years. Nothing ever worked I would feel even worse and more cut off from the world. So I stopped it all even the need to self-medicate.

Shortly after quitting medications I started getting chest pains. Once even hospitalized because I thought I was dying. The pain was intense and felt very real to me. Of course so many tests were run and the doctors couldn’t explain any of it. My mom suffers from chest pains.

About 2 months ago, I was watching a TV show when I heard about empaths feeling what others feel.  I had no idea what it was, how it worked, none of it. Off to the internet I went to look up anything I could about empaths and their abilities. The day I found out I realized I wasn’t crazy. I didn’t need medication. I just needed to understand what I was. That’s when the light came on and I was no longer in darkness. The feeling of belonging I will not ever forget either. It was the first time I felt that way. I no longer felt alone.

Honestly, when I first started reading about empaths, I was only looking for a way to shield myself from the stress and pain of others. I did find out how and it helped in ways I am still trying to understand. What I can say is that my life has changed dramatically since learning I’m an empath. Before I hid in the house. Depression was practically pouring out of my veins. There were days when I didn’t even see the sun. My life was full of gray moments with a few bits of brightness. Now my beautiful bright light fills my life with touches of gray here and there but no longer overwhelming. It is a beautiful world out there! 

*Disclaimer: We do not condone the use of self-medication and do not encourage anyone to being reduce, or discontinue the use of medication without consulting a physician. The story here is simply one man's tale meant to give hope, not to encourage or discourage any medical diagnosis or action.*